Last Night’s Humor in the Bathroom

So last week Seporah learned how to climb in and out of not only her crib, but also Felicity’s. We switched Seporah’s crib to a toddler bed because I didn’t want her falling and breaking a limb. We couldn’t replace Felicity crib with a toddler bed so we’ve currently been trying to teach that Felicity’s crib is not a place to climb and she gets in trouble for doing it, I’m more than little worried about her climbing in and suffocating Felicity on accident. Yeah, I know I’m kind of a worry wort, you would be too, if you worked in a pediatric ward. The way children learn to hurt themselves and their siblings is amazing. I laugh sometimes (remember easier to laugh than to cry), but if it were my own I would seriously cry.

Great right, except for now I can no longer contain my wild child for bedtime, I could just shut the door except for 2 problems. One, Seporah has locked herself inside of her bedroom twice, so I just took off her doorknob so that wouldn’t happen. It doesn’t now, but it also means I can’t contain her just by closing the door. Two, if I did put the doorknob back on and shut the door, I wouldn’t be able to hear Felicity, which actually does sound nice in a way, but I know when I’ve shut the door on accident, I’ve woken up to a starving baby who’s obviously been screaming for a very long time. My solution, place a gate in the doorway so Seporah can get up from her toddler bed and play in her room if she so desires.

Last night, we put the girls to bed and went to bed about 30 seconds after that (we have yet to really get over complete exhaustion, you’d think by this point we’d at least be used to it, but whatever). Apparently Seporah didn’t fall right to sleep. My guess of what happened was she knocked down the gate, played all over the house, went into the bathroom, tore it to pieces, tried to get out, but had shut the door, banged on the door for someone to get her out, realized no one was coming (because mommy and daddy were VERY fast asleep), tore up the bathroom some more, found a towel to use as a blanket and went to sleep. I figured this out a couple of hours later when Felicity woke me up to feed her.

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Mommy!

So church didn’t go so hot today, it hasn’t lately. As I was walking Seporah down the halls (and she could tell I was angry), she said “Mommy! Mommy!” In my head I was thinking “No, Mommy is not going to save you or me, she lives too far away in Washington right now.” And then I stopped and realized “oh yeah I AM the Mommy.” Even though I’ve had this job for over 2 years, I sometimes forget that I’m someone’s Mother.

Swimsuit

Does any man know the frustration of going swimsuit shopping? No, the hardest decision they make is do I want blue stripes or green stripes. And in reality, they probably don’t even make that decision, they just look at the size, “yeah, I think 36 fits me.” They don’t even have to try it on.

Women on the other hand, it’s a whole other ballpark. And if you want a one-piece that doesn’t look like a grandma suit, that’s even tougher. So any opinions on suits (or if you’ve got a better one, for me that is). Since last year’s swimsuit is maternity and on use for Heather’s expanding tummy. And the year before (which I’ve been wearing), doesn’t really fit the way it’s suppose to. If you can’t tell I like halter style neck lines.

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(this one, I like it in turquoise and brown, but I couldn’t get the picture)
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(In case anyone is wondering where they’re from, modbe.com, urbanoutfitters.com, jcpenney.com, pinupgirlclothing.com)

Crawling

Holy Cow, Felicity was kinda crawling, but now she really is, she just crawled like 4 feet. Save me. There’s a little 13 month girl in our ward who’s not even crawling, why didn’t I get that kinda luck. In 8 more months I will have 2 toddlers to chase after, maybe I’ll get lucky and Felicity’ll have Stranger or Separation Anxiety, cuz Seporah sure never had either.

Quiz

1. I lay Seporah down for a nap and quietly check my email. Suddenly she appears next to me and says, “Hi!” What happened?
a. a burglar let her out of her crib
b. I forgot to put her in her crib
c. Seporah learned magic and poofed herself next to me
d. Seporah finally learned to crawl out of her crib

2. What is the most suitable option for breakfast (note: popcorn is NOT one of the choices, no matter how many times you ask for it)?
a. cereal
b. eggs
c. applesauce
d. cold canned corn and shredded cheddar cheese

3. Seporah learned to crawl at 5 months, eventually leading to running at 13 months. Felicity is starting to crawl now at 5 months, what do I do to prevent 2 toddlers that can move faster than me in 8 months?
a. kill off the first
b. tie Felicity’s legs together and convince her she’s a mermaid
c. carry Felicity everywhere so she won’t learn to crawl (caution this option will fund 3 chiropractors for life)
d. do nothing, it’s going to happen, just make sure to prevent anymore small beings from being formed in your uterus

4. Where is the most appropriate place to scream like Mom is beating you to within an inch of your life?

a. your bedroom
b. Ross bathroom
c. church’s mother’s lounge
d. all of the above, plus anywhere else Felicity decides to

If you answered ‘D’ to the previous questions you get an A+ and a free babysitting job to aforementioned children. If you did not get an A+ you can still have the babysitting job.