1. I lay Seporah down for a nap and quietly check my email. Suddenly she appears next to me and says, “Hi!” What happened?
a. a burglar let her out of her crib
b. I forgot to put her in her crib
c. Seporah learned magic and poofed herself next to me
d. Seporah finally learned to crawl out of her crib
2. What is the most suitable option for breakfast (note: popcorn is NOT one of the choices, no matter how many times you ask for it)?
a. cereal
b. eggs
c. applesauce
d. cold canned corn and shredded cheddar cheese
3. Seporah learned to crawl at 5 months, eventually leading to running at 13 months. Felicity is starting to crawl now at 5 months, what do I do to prevent 2 toddlers that can move faster than me in 8 months?
a. kill off the first
b. tie Felicity’s legs together and convince her she’s a mermaid
c. carry Felicity everywhere so she won’t learn to crawl (caution this option will fund 3 chiropractors for life)
d. do nothing, it’s going to happen, just make sure to prevent anymore small beings from being formed in your uterus
4. Where is the most appropriate place to scream like Mom is beating you to within an inch of your life?
a. your bedroom
b. Ross bathroom
c. church’s mother’s lounge
d. all of the above, plus anywhere else Felicity decides to
If you answered ‘D’ to the previous questions you get an A+ and a free babysitting job to aforementioned children. If you did not get an A+ you can still have the babysitting job.
Another in the long series of posts that has SO made me laugh as my daughter finds out about being a mommy! Should you decide nursing is too great a task, maybe you should try stand up comedy clubs, if you could fill one with moms, you’d be a huge hit I am sure.
Hang in there, baby. The only thing I found that makes raising two chidren simple is when you have three children to raise (my rule of thumb is this: no matter how many children you have, one less is a breeze).
Love you so much,
Mom Pam
I disagree. Even if we had 12, Seporah would still have been a handful alone. =)
Ah, but there you see it, with just Seporah you needed just what I said, ‘one less’ to be a breeze. In some families, it is definitely a particular ‘one less’ too.
Pam
Defiantly stand up comedy material.
You make me laugh until i cry.
Love you,