Märia's Moments

The past 2 days at work were not fun. I was Charge Nurse both days and yesterday it felt like a circus, a zoo. I answered phone call after phone call of admission after admission. I told parent after parent I’m sorry for the waiting. Thankfully only 1 patient got really sick (I swear it’s days like that where 5 patients start crumbing at the same time). I’m not a hugely confrontational person, but yesterday I told people no, and then no again. I told different doctors no, something they don’t like to be told, god-complex you know. At 2:30 after working for 8 1/2 hours straight, I went down to Subway and got everyone sandwiches because no one had eaten and I was about ready to pass out and needed 5 minutes where someone wasn’t pulling on my shirt. No one left on time, oh and I just realized I don’t think the narcotics got counted.

A co-worker of mine, who just happened to be there at the end of shift gave me a ride home. I couldn’t complete a whole sentence without yawning I was so tired. She had met Steven the day before, she’s single and commented how it wasn’t fair that some people got to meet their soul mates young and some people had to fight an uphill battle for them. I thought she was crazy since there are so many good things about being single, pointed out a few including the one where on days like today, you could go home and just crash and not be mugged the moment you walk in the door (I included my children in the whole soul mate conversation because well they came with the package in a way). She said yeah but at least you have people to go home to that love you. Put me in perspective a little bit.

So as I walked through the door ready to keel over dead from exhaustion and despite the house is trashed due to everyone living in it, it was really nice to have an almost toddler come crawling straight for me wanting my every attention and breast, “mamamama!” and another toddler that wanted to show me The Wonderpets and sit in my lap even with Felicity eating, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” and a husband that wanted me just as much.

So at work there was a patient who’s father was a Colonel. I didn’t know, I didn’t care honestly. I don’t care if your parent’s a Private or if no one in your family is actually military and you’re actually a compassion care case. I give the same quality of care to everyone no matter their circumstances. Anyways it was a particularly busy day everywhere, admissions, discharges, and all hell down in the ER. This patient was going to be discharged, but due to it being a very busy day it was taking a long time to get the doctors to fill out the paperwork. This father was very impatient, another nurse went in to talk to them and said the pediatricians were working on the paperwork as soon as they could and tried to explain the situation. This father pulls out the “I’m a Colonel card.” The nurse said, jokingly, trying to keep some amount of humor, “So you’re more important than everyone else in the hospital.” His response, in all seriousness, “Yes, I am.” We were shocked he said it. That my darlings is another prime example of why the military is beyond stupid, because apparently the more rank you have, the better and more important a person you are.

So I mostly use humor in my usual posts choosing to sidestep serious issues as they are less entertaining to read about. That and humor makes a lot of the bad things better with the added bonus of being able to vent out frustrations without hurting anyone.

I’m a lot like Jonah (as in Jonah and the whale). I think once someone does something really evil, then they shouldn’t have the chance to be forgiven. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact the atonement was meant for pedophiles as well as me. I’m also a fan of the death penalty, but I think we should kill all sorts of people we don’t, sexual and childhood abusers being the top 2. Why give someone the opportunity to “live” a normal life by putting them back into society after serving their time, when the likelihood is they’ll sin again and destroy more lives.

I wake in the middle of the night far too frequently and worry about the lives of children today. I worry about child sex slaves and child soldiers. I worry about the orphans who are the lucky ones who get beaten on a daily basis and become 2nd class citizen. I worry about childhood obesity and greed in America’s minors. How on earth are we going to have this world be a better place when we let the atrocities that happen to today’s children happen? What am I going to do?

The last question being said one of two ways, either as a call to action for myself or as complacency in my inability to do nothing. I mean really I feel as though my life is busy, busy, busy and have no time, at the same time my life is so busy I can’t even work on helping a child?

Did anyone ever see the movie Simon Birch, where Simon Birch always says God had a plan specifically for him to help others, I’ve always felt like that. Like I’m meant to really make a difference, not just be 1 of the billions that do nothing but live their lives and then die. Sometimes we dream about going somewhere and actually helping others, but in reality is it ever going to happen, probably not. We’re far to materialistic and greedy. Steven said a few weeks ago that Americans had set the standard of living too high, that humans were never meant to live the way we do. I had never thought about it like that, I figured this was the way it was suppose to be and everyone else was sorry out of luck, but what if he’s right.

Anyways my post isn’t really a call to action, I have no answers. I just wish God would get a little Sodom and Gomorrah on a few people, oh and the government would stop paying farmers not to plant crops, oh and adoption wasn’t so expensive, oh and the death penalty, I am really serious about that.

8 Favorite Restaurants:

1. California Pizza Kitchen (everyone asks, no I don’t actually eat pizza there, it’s a restaurant not a pizzeria despite the name) 

2. The Rock (Tacoma, WA)

3. Olive Garden (not in Hawaii)

4. Phuket Thai (Mililani, HI)

5. McDonald’s (actually I don’t really like the food much, but the girl’s love the playplace)

6. Coldstone (does this count as a restaurant?)

7. Subway (healthier fast food, when you’ve got 2 in diapers you’ve just gotta be fast)

8. Just Tacos (This is a sit down Mexican Place here that has an patio next to a place Seporah can run, which means we can take our time eating while the girl’s play)

8 Things That Happened Yesterday:

1. The girls and I went to the pool

2. I watched some of Roswell ( i was feeling nostalgic)

3. Cooked Shepherd’s Pie

4. I got Felicity to drink cow’s milk from a sippy cup (serious accomplishment)

5. I changed 8 poopy diapers (4 from each girl, I don’t know why I always count, I think maybe if I count I’ll feel like I’ve accomplished something)

6. The girl’s and I played with blocks

7. I marked which pages I wanted photocopied out of an activity book for the girls

8. I ate Halloween candy **

8 Things I Look Forward To:

1. Steven getting out of the military

2. Steven being the girl’s primary caretaker

3. When Seporah is potty trained

4. The day I will wake up on my own

5. Having a real back yard

6. When the house is finished with all of our remodeling

7. November 21st, Twilight!

8. Cirque De Ole next Saturday

8 Things on My Wish List:

1. A live-in housekeeper

2. A bamboletta (www.bamboletta.com, Sarah said her daughter wanted one and I was like oh, me too, me too!)

3. I say unconditional acceptance of the way I look, but really I just want the perfect me

4. To have all my family come live in Hawaii, especially all my sister-in-laws and my mom. Well and my dad and Josh and Jason and…(I actually really like it here, don’t really want to move anyways)

5. Someone to come to my house once a month and take my car to get the oil changed or the registration done or the safety inspection down or anything else having to do with the ca. Or even better yet, a car that never all that stuff, I’ll still pump gas, but the rest, YUCK!

6. Huge wads of disposable income (like Forrest Gump says after realizing he’s rich, “Well that’s good, one less thing to worry about)

7. iPod Touch all to myself (well THAT’S materialistic, I don’t like to share)

8. For children everywhere to have a roof over their head, food to eat and someone to love them for them

**Man, I’ll be eating that Halloween candy forever. We only went to the hospital where I worked to, we didn’t go to trunk-or-treat or around the neighborhood. Funny about getting the candy: so I was trying to get Seporah to say trick-or-treat to no avail, I got her to say treat, but she didn’t know why I was trying to make her say it. Then when we went around the hospital she figured it out. If she said “treat” she got a treat. Well the 3rd stop or so, she wasn’t first in line but as soon as she saw the candy she said “TREAT!” However the people were giving the others candy first, so she got angry and said very adamantly “TREAT! TREAT! TREAT!” It was quite funny.

Today I attempted to go surfing, attempted being the key word. I went with a couple friends from work. After 2 hours I had rug burned elbows and knees, a sunburn despite applying SPF50 twice, a rash on my thighs, very exhausted arms, a broken swimsuit, and a hungry tummy. You’d think after all that I would have been able to stand on the board. Unfortunately that would have required grace or at the very least coordination, neither of which I have. No really, I did have a good time though, I might try it again. And anyways, I have an excuse to buy another swimsuit.

This is our view from our balcony. If you can’t tell there’s a balloon, toys, trash and socks down there even though we clean it up every few days.

This is the reason it looks like that:

Can you see that devilish smile? Aren’t those some kissable cheeks? That’s the reason she hasn’t died yet

Every time the neighbors complain about the ground I think about sending her cuteness on them. Really, she is amazingly beautiful. Can you spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E?