The heat was well worth putting up with when car 122 came around. About 90% of the cars in the parade brought forth a cheer and clapping; the other 10% didn’t deserve them. Some Civic theatre had reproduced the famous V-J kiss moment. That was definitely one of my favorites. The 10% that didn’t deserve it was a group of thugs that had souped up cars blaring incredibly inappropriate sexually explicit music.   There was one more falling into this category.. and the events that unfolded around it were AWESOME. 

Car 122 was a van with words written in big letter on the side.  “Bell County Democrats”  *cricket* *cricket*

Seriously.. silence fell over the entire crowd as they passed by.   There were even a few ‘boos’ from the crowd.  The floats were so close together that I was still hearing the boos of the next group about 10 feet away to the left of us when the crowd erupted in cheering.

What was everyone cheering about?

Someone had put them back to back.. the next float was “Central Texas Tea Party”   

God Bless Texas… It’s great to be home

(my extraco bank card is solid green.. Sarah and I constantly call it ‘your green card’ or ‘my green card’)

Holly> Hey, I need help looking for books or legit info that isn’t hollywood crap about vampires. Do you know a book that I can find that could help me?
Jason> You want me to find legit info on a mythical race?
Holly> thanks for the txt. I hadn’t realized what I was asking for. I’d settle for nonhollywood information on vampires.
Jason> I’m sure if I found any legit info on Vampires… they’d make me join the ranks.
Holly> If you start ordering your steaks rare our friendship is over.

I got back late last night from drill and went straight to bed.  This morning I woke up and came into the man cave (the spare bedroom used exclusively as a computer room)  and found that my dachshund chose my personal copy of the constitution (a booklet about 2inches by 6 inches long)  to take a crap on…

I’m officially blocking msnbc from my television.. I don’t know what left winger is responsible for corrupting my dog, but I’m not taking any chances.

(I’m cooking.. L comes in the room…)

L: Black! Black! (she points to the Spatula in my hand)
Me: Yeah, L, it is black. This is called a SPACHOOLA. Can you say SPACHOOLA?
L: Black! Black!
Me: Yes.. it is a Black SPACHOOLA! Can you say SPACHOOLA?
L: Black SPoaisjdfkajsfkLA (this means she got the first and last letter right.. but everything else was gibberish)
Me: SPACHOOLA!
L: SPweoijwoeijfLA
*She starts to leave the Kitchen towards her room*
Me: *sigh* You aren’t very good at this are you? (more to myself than anything)

From the hall I hear:
L: YOU aren’t very good at this!

A Sarcastic 3 year old.. who knew, eh?

I always wondered what REALLY ahppened

Hayes not dead,
  sustinance obtained.
Fight for resources
  not many remain…

Pels is here
  it’s time to race
my boytoy’s hanged
  his plan gon awry

The real question is..

   Who am I?

Now this brings me to an update on the things that I hope to have time for with the extra hours every day:

1. Exercise:  I’m currently 290 lbs and I want to be 230 again by this time next year.  I’m off to a pretty good start as I started watching what I  was eating about two weeks ago and I’m already down 10 lbs from then.  I’ve swam 500 meters twice and run 3 to 5 miles 3 times in the last two weeks.  Prior to that… I hadn’t run since February probably. . .
2. Writing:  Steven has started a writing group and I really want start getting some of the ideas in my head out on paper.  My week to submit came right as my finals hit for my math class… so I was the first person not to submit during their week.  Not going to happen again!  I want to actually get chapters ahead so I’m always submitting something I’ve written weeks ago.. we’ll see if it actually happens
3. TV!:  Has TV ever been as exciting as it is now? Lost is over, but I really want to catch up on all these shows:
                Caprica – Awesome spin off of Battlestar Galactica.
                Castle   -  Awesome show with Nathan Fillion (captain from Firefly)  If you like Law & Order..       You’ll love Castle!
                 Fringe  -  This is an X-Files meets Lost kind of show, but they have Leonard Nemoy playing a character so I can’t help myself but want to watch it.  
                 Stargate Universe – I’ve heard a lot of good things about this show, but a few bad things.  I’ll judge for myself. 

   I can’t even remember the last time I got to watch any of them.  I may have to download since hulu only caries the last 5 that aired on TV.

The girls are doing nice, the older is making progress with potty training, but mommy and daddy need to gain some patience with the little blunders.  And we need a bark collar for the younger one… I’m not joking.. she screams until Sarah picks her up… and she screams loud.. all day long.  Since I’m obviously kidding about the bark collar..  any advice on how to get her to be a little less dependant being held 24/7?

Mommy and Daddy were probably around mile 18 at this point

Well.. while at walmart, I saw a man digging through a bin of the discount dvds.  His head was FLAWLESS.  The entire backside of it was as smooth as a cue ball.  I thought to myself.. you know what?!  I have NOTHING to lose by asking him what his technique is.  The WORST thing he can say is, “No, I’m not going to tell you.” 

So I took a deep breath..  walked over and tapped him on his shoulder.  Even as he was turning I began, “Excuse me, sir.  I’ve been in the military for 4 years already and I can not figure out people get their head that smooth!  How do you get all the hair off?  What’s the secret?”

He finishes turning… and promptly replies without any hesitation.  “Cancer.”  I then see the scar running across the front and top of his head, where evidently he had brain surgery or something.  He nodded, turn back around and goes back to selecting his movie for the night.

True Story.

I’d like to say this goes right above ‘Peeing on an electrical fence’

Since we got the girls our lives have been running at full speed.  Sarah wakes up in the morning and gets the girls ready and takes them to school.  I get up and goto school, goto work, go home and do homework,  Sarah gets off work and picks up the girls and comes home.  I do ‘distract the kids’ while Sarah cooks, Sarah cooks, and I do bath and bedtime.  Sarah and I get about an hour of exhausted talk about how we are going to join a kool-aid drinking cult… and wondering how the human race has continued on without killing off their offspring… and then Sarah goes to bed and I get back on doing homework.  I finish up about midnight to 1 AM and then goto bed to do it all over again.  I don’t say this for you pity, but merely for you to understand that life is VERY busy for us, and neither of us really ever get a break. 

Friday night I suggested to Sarah that she could go have some girl time and hang out with a friend, and I would watch their kids and our kids until they got back.  Sarah kind of laughed and told me that it wouldn’t be fair, but thanked me for the offer.  I could tell she wanted to, so I texted her friend and arranged the whole thing.  The next morning, I told sarah about an hour before her friend was to arrive that I would be watching the kids and Sarah could goto town and do whatever she wanted.  She hugged me and I was hero of the morning .  (I always like being the hero).  She gets dressed and her friend drops off their 3 boys.  So let me do some math for you:

4 boys: (26, 4, 3, and 2)

2 girls:  (2, and 1)

About two hours into this experience I  was like.. who is the responsible adult here?!! Who is running this show!  and I realized… that it was supposed to be me.

I realize now that I desperately need a 4 year old.  Her oldest was amazingly helpful.  I would tell him to watch the baby for me while I went to the restroom.. and he seriously gave me updates every 5 seconds about what that baby was doing.  “She getting up… she’s putting something in her mouth”… “Okay I took it away from her”..  

Another funny thing was that our 1 year old would follow at her pace behind the other 4.  So all 4 would go running down the hall and then the baby would crawl after them.  ABout the time that the baby got to where they were… the rest of them came running by her in the opposite direction.  Did she cry? Nope.. She just looked up at me with those brown, knowing  eyes and said “Slow and steady wins the race…”  Or it could have been:  “Hey, Taxi,  what’s wrong with you… pick me up and follow those kids!”  I always get those two confused…

So after 3 hours I decided we needed a snack.. and a little nap..  So when I woke up an hour later the kids were still running around and the house was on fire!                     Just kidding .  So I gave them all PB & J  and laid them down in each room.  One was in my bed,  Our oldest was in her bed,  The baby was asleep in the computer room, and the middle child of their family was in the bed in the computer room,  and their youngest was on the couch  in the living room.  I walked into the kitchen and waited for all the screaming to stop…  I gave a big sigh of relief and decided to go have some me time..  until I realized that EVERY room in the house had a kid in it.. and there was nowhere I could go.   *sigh*

I broke out my new blue tooth and called some friends.. walked around the kitchen and stepped outside for some fresh air.   I changed about 5 diapers.. which is much better than 20… and when the womenfolk got home.. I pretended it was the easiest thing I’d ever done.. 

I was able to come out of it with my sanity in tact, but I was probably about an hour away from becoming a super villain!

Phew! close call.. I’d probably look horrible in a helmet with big antlers!

Goodbye my Friend,

You will be missed.

It’s pretty bad

When I was a kid, my Grandmother made sure that I knew how important hygiene was. She made sure a bath was had every day. She made sure that we always washed our hair. She made sure that we always brushed our teeth. When I lived with my Dad, things were a little more lenient. I mean it was just generally accepted that these things should be happening, but he didn’t feel he had to lean over my shoulder and MAKE SURE they were happening. This isn’t bad about my Dad.. this is bad about me .

Now fear not, oh faithful readers. I am not informing you that I shower twice a year to save natural resources or anything. I do in fact shower every day, and I would say I probably take showers 350/356 days a year. I mean we’ve all had those days where you are just exhausted and fall asleep without showering. Or you wake up 30 minutes late and have to run out dressing on the way to the car. This is not my confession.

I brush my teeth probably twice a week.

Yeah.. I know. You are all vomiting in your mouth right now. When I wake up in the morning I hope in the shower, get dressed, get my stuff together, hop in the COMPUTER, and look up when it’s 1.3 minutes left to get in the car and make it where I’m going on time. I just have not made it a habit even since childhood. I always tell myself I will do better, and for a month or two I will brush EVERY morning.. or make up for it at night were I to forget. But I slip for a day.. then another. And soon I’m back to brushing every once in a while.

So this New Year’s resolution is to brush EVERY SINGLE DAY. And if I fall off the bandwagon.. I’m gonna hop RIGHT BACK ON. Here’s for white teeth in 2011!!

Now for the rest of you. MAKE your CONFESSIONS now. Be honest!

Just 2 years ago

Everyone give her lots of luvs if you can!

These will true stories about me… that are incredibly awkward or stupid.

A few months ago, I was late for work, and I was eating the fruit out of my lunch as I did 90 down the highway.  The fruit Sarah packs me is breakfast, and the meat and veggies are lunch.  I got into the elevator and pressed 9 and reached down to take another bite out of my apple.  I noticed that the sticker was still on the side, but because my hands were full (one with apple, other with laptop)  I made a note of it and told myself to take it off when I get into the office.  I walk down the hall, talk to a co-worker, put my stuff down on the desk, and get confronted with a peer about work put on hold from yesterday.  While he told me about what needed to get done that day, I started to munch on the apple between sentences again.   At the end of the conversation, the co-worker says to me,  “Have you ever accidentally ate the sticker off of an apple?”

I was taken a back a little bit, and having been confronted about a work error, and then asked about a mindless act such as taking a bite out of an apple…  I replied, “Not that I know of, why?”

He simply replied, “Just wondering.” and left the room to go back to his desk.

I was a little confused and looked down at the apple… checked every side.

No sticker.

True Story.

Or this one:

Mary Strey: Somebody’s really drunk driving down Granton Road…

Dispatcher: …Which way are they going?

Mary Strey: They are going, um…

Dispatcher: Towards Granton or towards Neillsville?

Mary Strey: Towards Granton

Dispatcher: Okay are you behind them, or…

Mary Strey: No, I am them

Dispatcher: You am them?

Mary Strey: Yes, I am them

Dispatcher: Okay, so you want to call and report that you’re driving drunk?

Mary Strey: Yes

Amazing.