Foot In Mouth: True Stories

About three years ago, I was probably in the best shape of my life.. and really gave a crisp military appearance.  One thing about my physique bothered me though.   At the ripe age of 21.. I started to bald.. and my hair lost ground (is still losing ground) until I became very embarassed about it.  I decided to save myself money on weekly hair cuts and started to buzz and bic my hair every week.  For those of you who are unaware of what ‘bic’ ing your hair is.. you essentially shave your head like you shave your face.  In a perfect world.. when you are done.. you look like Mr. Clean.  For over a year I shaved my head but was never able to get that wax smooth head.  I always had a major amount of stubble.  This frustrated me immensely.  All the Sgts in my unit shaved their heads,  and they pulled it off without a flaw!  I really wanted to ask for help, but I didn’t want to appear as if I didn’t know what I was doing. 

Well.. while at walmart, I saw a man digging through a bin of the discount dvds.  His head was FLAWLESS.  The entire backside of it was as smooth as a cue ball.  I thought to myself.. you know what?!  I have NOTHING to lose by asking him what his technique is.  The WORST thing he can say is, “No, I’m not going to tell you.” 

So I took a deep breath..  walked over and tapped him on his shoulder.  Even as he was turning I began, “Excuse me, sir.  I’ve been in the military for 4 years already and I can not figure out people get their head that smooth!  How do you get all the hair off?  What’s the secret?”

He finishes turning… and promptly replies without any hesitation.  “Cancer.”  I then see the scar running across the front and top of his head, where evidently he had brain surgery or something.  He nodded, turn back around and goes back to selecting his movie for the night.

True Story.

2 thoughts on “Foot In Mouth: True Stories”

  1. OUch but nothing ventured nothing gained. At least he did not take offense at your innocent question. Take care, Russ

  2. The first word out of my mouth was “ouch!” – just like Russ. What a sweet man, and what a perspective on life, isn’t it?

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